It's Gotta Stop

Bullying in elementary, middle, and high school is still a problem among children and teenagers across America. There have been many suicides due to the picking on of kids due to their race, appearance, and even sexual orientation. A line has to be drawn somewhere in order for this bullying matter to stop because I know that if I was a parent and my son or daughter was being bullied at school, I would want to come up there and handle the matter myself. In order to prevent this from happening all that needs to be done is the government needs to make an anti-bully law that defines the consequences of bullying if caught doing so, and the problem can be somewhat solved. Many would ask, “What good would these laws do?” Anti-bully laws are useful because they offer and apply stricter rules. This means punishment that sends a clear message that bullying will not be tolerated. Throughout my school years I was a bully. I did terrible things to my peers such as: punch, shove, tease, and swirlies (putting one’s head in a toilet and flushing). It wasn’t until I got older when I got in serious trouble with the law that I realized that what I was doing was wrong. I was fined, served jail time, and got suspended from school along with counseling sessions. My punishment alone was enough for me to fix my attitude and become a better person. When I went to jail, I didn’t just stay there until my mother got off of work so she could come get me; I was there for 3 whole days. That had to be one of the worst experiences in my whole entire life because I was scared shitless. I sat in a jail cell with all these grown men just looking at me like I was stupid. That was not my scene and I did not belong there. Not to mention, the ass whipping I received when my mom finally came and picked me up. Let’s just say I could hardly sit in a chair for a week straight. At Coyle Middle School, administrators have established a Light Brigade Club, which is a group of students that attend workshops and hold events. The clubs main goal is getting the message across that treating others with respect can get anyone far in life. Since the program took off in 2004, there has been a dramatic decrease in bullying and physical violence among students. When I joined the club, I could have never felt better. It was an exhilarating feeling knowing that I could help people out that were in the same position that I was in at one point in time. Really, the only reason why 98% of the boys and girls were being bullies was because of situations going on at home. Many of us had to learn the hard way that there are other ways to channel your anger other than picking on those whom we think lesser of. All I know is that sooner or later, it has to come to an end.

Fatherless

Death, deadbeat, prison, ashamed, these are some of the terms used to describe the men who is unable or unwilling to care for their children. For whatever reason, mothers are sometimes left alone to heed for their offspring as best as they can, but when the kids go out into the world and see families which they’ve never been apart of, tolling effects can be observed. Adolescents brought up with no father figure or male role model tend to have a more troubled life. They feel alone and unloved as they see the perfect family on television or out in public. Single mothers put blood, sweat, and tears into the welfare of their children making sure that they live as normal of a life as possible, but unfortunately their efforts sometimes aren’t enough. These negative effects can torment children immediately or have long term upshots that are unhealthy and in some cases deadly. As a young boy, I asked my mother many times where my father was. She used to tell me that he went away for a while and maybe he would come back on day; but when she was beat down from rough days at work and didn’t want to be bothered, she didn’t know where he was and didn’t care. The single mothers are almost equally affected with the responsibilities of raising a child or children alone with no mutual support. The struggle is overwhelming and can cause mental trauma in children as well as mothers. Today’s children are tomorrow’s future, and they must be treated with care in order to make something good out of themselves.
One of the areas where children with absent fathers are most affected is school and education. According to fathers.com, children that come from one-parent homes are twice as likely as children coming from two-parent home to drop out of school. In conducted surveys, students coming from one-parent homes have lower grade point averages, lower attendance records, and lower college aspirations; which means that there is a negative correlation between the absence of an influential male figure and motivation to surpass expectations in school. I have three cousins that are brothers on my dad’s side of the family; all three of the boys have different fathers and have never met them. They have had no one to edify them the things that only a man can teach to young men which as mislead them in the wrong direction. So far, two of them have yet to make it past the 11th grade and they are now twenty years old. This example satisfies G.D. Sandefur’s observation that students with single parents are less likely to even graduate from high school. Debra Dawson also states that kids living with a “never-married mother” are far more likely than students living with both biological parents to be suspended or even expelled from school for whatever reason. In addition, children without fathers are more prone to have friends that are living the same life that they are and believe that school is unimportant causing manner problems. There is only so much structure and order a woman can make with children because kids feel a sense of superiority and are somewhat fearful of males, this is why when mothers tell their children, “I’m gonna tell your daddy!” they fix their act because of the energy they feel when around their father. This feeling also makes them behave and do well in school because they know the consequences that have been installed by the dominant male in the household.
All I’m trying to say is that children, especially young boys, need fathers in their lives to help grow and mature the way they are supposed to be. Maybe the world wouldn’t be as bad as it is if we had males to keep them in check.

Dreamin'

Back when I was in high school, I spoke with this lady whom was friends with my mother at the time, and she taught me how to interpret dreams. Or at least try and search for the meaning of a dream, as to what is it trying to tell me. I haven’t done this in forever, but I’m going to go ahead and try to give it a shot. Only because I have been having some weird ass dreams lately, and there have actually been instances where my dream has actually came true or I have gotten a message from a dream. So, here we go:
Parker is a dear friend of mine whom I’ve known for quite some time. We’ve had intimate relations in the past, but now we are just good friends that keep in touch. For the past month or so, we’ve been talking more than usual and she’s generally the last person I talk to at night. About a week ago I had a dream that Parker and I spent the whole day together. We went to the mall and shopped for a bit, as we were walking up a flight of stairs, she tripped and I caught her and said, “What would you do without me?” After a short while there we miraculously ended up at a bowling alley. We were walking across the street to go inside and Parker was talking on the phone to one of her girlfriends. Too into her conversation instead of watching what she was doing, Parker walked carelessly onto the street without paying attention. As I followed behind her, I noticed that a pickup truck was dashing down the street and was not hesitant to stop, so I yanked her backwards by her purse and the truck passed by maybe a foot in front of her. Then again I asked, “What would you do without me?” At the drop of a hat we were at my house to say our goodbyes. We hugged, kissed, and hugged one more time, I said in her ear, “Please be safe driving, I’m not going to be there to save you.” She promised that she would be and that she would call me when she made it home. Somehow I fell asleep in my dream (it’s weird how I can sleep while I’m sleeping) and I woke up to find out that a car that ran a stop sign had killed Parker. After receiving this news I woke up in somewhat of a shock so I called to make sure that she was alright, and she was fine. I told her to please be careful because or my dream and she assured me that she would take care and be cautious of her surroundings. Two days later I received a call from a friend of Parker’s that was in a terrible accident with a young lady that ran a stop sign and totaled her car. She was in the hospital but would eventually make a full recovery. Was my dream some sort of warning or sending a message?
During my dream there were many instances in which I help or saved Parker in some way such as, keeping her from falling, and walking in front of the truck. The news story about the accident was devastating in my eyes because I wasn’t there with her to help. If I had been in the car with her would I have been able to stop be from proceeding through the intersection? There have actually been times in my life in which I have looked out for the best interest of others and there have been consequences when the advice has not been put to use. Though Parker displayed acts of carelessness, I was there to lend her a hand and didn’t want to see her hurt. I think that maybe the dream was some sort of sign or message that I was supposed to send to her that wasn’t interpreted very well. When Parker actually got in the wreck and went to the hospital, we were both in disbelief that it would actually happen; but there will never be an answer as to it was a sign or just a coincidence. At the end of the day, I think that we were somehow put on this earth for each other. I keep her best interest at heart and will always be there for on for whatever she needs.

Pops

I would like to give a birthday shout out to my dad, Arrington “A-Town” Ross. That man and I have been through so much together over the last twenty years, it’s completely insane. When I was born my parents had just graduated from high school, and my father was going off to play football at Trinity Valley Community College in hopes of going to play Division I football within the next couple years. Therefore, my mother was on her own for a little while. She did more than anyone could ever do for their child, she broke her back constantly just to make sure I had everything that I wanted, as long as I kept my grades up. She put my father on child support, simply because sometimes, it was just too much for her to handle. Though he really wasn’t around much during my younger days, my dad did his best to make sure that he was a part of my life as much as he could be while he was juggling football with school and being a parent. After his second year of JUCO, he received a scholarship to play football at the University of Alabama; which meant that he was going to be even further away from my mother and I. This made the relationship extremely difficult, my mother became somewhat bitter towards my dad, saying that he was selfish for leaving; but she had no idea what could have happened once he was finished with school. He could have been drafted to the NFL and made millions, but she wasn’t trying to hear it. Once my dad was in Alabama, I was lucky if I saw him once a month. He was always busy, but the work paid off. After his senior season he was a prospective NFL draftee, so he was traveling around the country working out for different teams in hopes of being called back to practice.

    One summer when he was home for a week, my father decided to go play some pickup basketball with some of his homeboys at the local recreation center; let’s just  say that was not the smartest idea he ever came up with. Before the day was over, he was in the hospital with a torn Achilles, right then and there, his football career and dreams were over. Dad was devastated. He had no idea what he was going to do for the rest of his life because he had his mind set on football, and nothing else. This situation made things between my parents even more difficult because not only was my mom bitter toward him because he left, he was bitter towards her because he didn’t know how he was going to be able to provide for me. After my father finally got over the situation, he decided to stay in college and graduate, which was the best decision he ever could have made. I applaud him for the obstacles he has overcame because he could have easily given up, but he decided to stick with it. He knew that it would pay off in the long run, and truly has.

Rhymin'

Wow, what would this world be without music? I seriously do not think that I can even fathom what I would be doing with my life, because music basically is life. It expresses how a person feels, and we as people can always relate to a certain aspect of a song, genre, or artist. When my girlfriend was feeling upset, angry, or happy with me she would tell me to listen to a particular song and I would know exactly how she felt because certain songs spoke for her. Unfortunately, this is one of the reasons why we didn’t work out, because I need someone that can talk to me about their problems rather than keep telling me to listen to songs; I can only put up with that to a certain extent.

  I happen to like all different types of music from rap, to R&B, rock, alternative, even a little techno here and there; mostly rap thought. As I get older, I’m starting to become more calm and chill and lots of times rap music is too loud and fast for me, so I’ve been listening to more R&B. There is the new artist that a friend of mine got me hooked to named The Weeknd. He’s a singer from Toronto and sounds kind of like The Dream, only with a better voice. This mix tape he has out right now called “House of Balloons” is the hottest thing out right now in my opinion. It’s one of those CD’s that you can just put in and let play from beginning to end and let your head nod. He has some pretty nice producers because all of his beats are slow and chill; therefore, I don’t have a headache after jumping around and head banging like I would if I was listening to Waka Flocka or someone like that.

    Now, I listen to many different rappers, but there are some that I like way more than others. For instance, you won’t see my pick Waka Flocka over Lil Wayne or Eminem. It seems like nowadays they let just anyone in the recording studio and make a song about just any old thing. The newest terrible song on the streets is called, “Racks On Racks”. It is probably the most bullshit song I have ever heard in my entire life. Throughout the whole song all I hear is “racks on racks on racks, racks on racks on racks”, insinuating that he has a lot of money. They guy just sounds uneducated. I think that’s the problem with rap in today’s society. There aren’t enough intellectual rappers in the game that talk about meaningful things in their songs, it always about how much money they have, what kind of car they have, or how many women they have sex with. With that being said, the game is slowly evolving with new blood and smarter minds that are meaningful and helpful to society. It has never been the same since the deaths of Tupac and The Notorious B.I.G. Hopefully it will get back up that standard while I’m still alive. I would love nothing more than to listen to rap music until I die of old age, but if it doesn’t change, I will have to leave that genre alone for good.

I'm Not Addicted, I'm Committed

Tattoos have basically become the fad of our generation. Everyone want to be “tatted up” as we call it, because it makes us look cool, they’re pretty addicting, and most of all, the ladies love them. I got my first tattoo when I was 16 years old. Of course I didn’t tell my mother about it, and I couldn’t go to a shop to get it because I was under age at the time. But I had a friend, that had a friend, and I was able to get hooked up for a good price. I remember it like it was yesterday, I told my dad that I was going to get a tattoo because I knew he wouldn’t care if I did get one. If I told my mother, she was going to knock my silly or probably killed me. But I had my mind set that I was going to do it no matter what. So, I told my parents that I was going to stay at my brother’s house for the night, which I was, but I was making a small detour to North Dallas to the Red Roof Inn to get inked. It actually wasn’t a very pleasant experience, only because it hurt pretty badly; but as soon as I left, I wanted more. Over the years I got tattoos here and there, now I have about 15? I really don’t feel like counting.

   I’m the kind of person that believes that a tattoo should have an important meaning, people should think about their decisions before they let someone permanently scar them because they will regret it later. For instance, I was at a tattoo convention and I saw this man with a tattoo of chap stick on his arm, like on his whole arm. I asked him why he got that tattoo and what was the meaning of it and all he could say was, “because no one else has it.” Seriously? I just do not understand why you would want something like that on your body forever. Every single one of my tattoos has a meaning that I will take with me to the grave/ I have a scroll with the scripture of Job 23:10 which says “He knoweth the way that I take: when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” This means that I am on the path that God sets for me, no matter where it may take me; I will do as He says. Another tattoo I have is of my mother’s name, Christina. It is tattooed over my heart because I love her with everything I have. Dedication- because you have to be dedicated to your tasks and goals to get where you want to be in life. Sacrifice- because we have to lose and sacrifice certain things in order to gain. Loyalty- because I will remain loyal to my family and always have their backs. Courage- because having courage means you have to take risks. To top it all off, I got MCMXCI inside my biceps, which is 1991. Not only is this the year I was born, but it was the year that hell broke loose! Many times, people look at me and say, “oh my goodness, your addicted!” and I reply, “I’m not addicted, I’m committed!”